


The Best Day of Your Life

by mokklie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Noise Kink, One Shot, complete and utter trash, im so sorry, reader has unspecified gender, sin - Freeform, trash, violence against countertops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:19:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mokklie/pseuds/mokklie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Papyrus reads your diary and finds out about your noise kink. Instead of kinkshaming, he rolls with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Day of Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> About two months ago, I sent an ask to illuminoodlesconfirmed on tumblr because her skelesin was appearing all over my dash. I learned a couple of things: she loves Papyrus, and she has some kinks. When I saw a post saying that she had a sound kink, I was struck by inspiration. The original anonymous ask that I sent her is in the end notes.  
> I got a pretty good reaction to it, so I figured I should beef it up, immortalize it, and take credit for for my work. It's trash, but it's fun trash and I'm pretty proud of it ngl.
> 
> Enjoy <3

You were awakened by a shrill noise. It beat incessantly on your brain and roused you from what was probably too little sleep. Again. You yawned groggily and sat up, blinking. Your eyes didn't seem to want to stay open, so you felt blindly around your surroundings until you found your phone. You squinted at the bright screen and poked at it vaguely, trying to shut it up. In your befuddled state, you noticed there were words on the screen. You made a huge effort, and succeeded in opening your eyes completely. The screen read:  _It's your day off._

 _Day off? I have a day off?_ you thought. What day was it? You checked.  _Oh yeeaahhh..._ you thought.  _It_ is  _my day off today. I can go back to sleep._ The alarm kept ringing despite your half-hearted attempts to shut it off, and you frowned.  _Why did I set an alarm for my day off?_

You focused hard and finally managed to quiet your phone. You sank back into your pillow with a sigh of relief.

 _I should go see a movie with Papyrus later,_ you thought, closing your eyes again.  _Or maybe I could go chill at Grillby's with Sans... I'll decide when I wake up again._

Your mind returned to the curiously blank state that preceded slumber. You could almost hear the footsteps of a dream approaching, waiting to sweep you into its comforting embrace...

**WHAM.**

You sat bolt upright, eyes wild, and your heart pounded in your throat. Papyrus stood in what remained of your shattered doorway, posing triumphantly.

"HUMAN," he announced, "I HAVE READ YOUR DIARY!" He brandished the said diary.

You winced at the cacophony of his voice; it was much too loud for your sleep-starved brain to appreciate. The book, however, was not. You stared at it with horror and felt your sins crawling on your back.

"Jesus Christ on rye bread," you whispered to yourself. His eye sockets stared into your soul.

He strode confidently towards you and snatched you out of bed, bridal style. You shrieked and threw your arms around his neck, clinging for dear life. He carried you swiftly out of your room.

"WHAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE GLEANED FROM READING YOUR DIARY," he began, "IS THAT YOU, MY FAVORITE HUMAN, ARE COMPLETELY, HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH ME."

You spluttered incoherently and your face warmed to the point where you knew you probably resembled a tomato.

"I HAVE ALSO LEARNED OF YOUR SO-CALLED 'KINKS.'"  _I was wrong,_ you realized,  _a tomato cannot compare to how red I am._

He walked into your kitchen and deposited you in the sink. Thankfully, you had washed your dishes and cleaned the sink last night. You flailed around and tried to extract your rear end from the sink. You noticed, with rising panic, the array of pots and pans on the counter beside him.

He didn't notice your struggle, and continued: "YOU, HUMAN, HAVE A NOISE KINK. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. NOISE IS WHAT TURNS YOU ON. FEAR NOT, HUMAN, FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL USE THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE! I HAVE ASSEMBLED HERE SOME OBJECTS FOR YOUR PLEASURE," he gestured sweepingly at the pots and pans and picked up two skillets.

"Papyrus, _no_ ," you squeaked.

"PAPYRUS,  _YES,_ " he bellowed, then drew in a huge breath.

He let it out as an earth-shattering scream and banged the pots and pans together with enough force to crack the counter.

 _HOLY FUCKING HAM GRENADES,_ you thought helplessly.

" _ **IS THIS HOW HARD AND LOUD YOU'D LIKE ME TO BANG YOU, HUMAN?**_ " he roared.

**Author's Note:**

> As I said, this fic is based off of an ask that I sent. Here's the original version:
> 
> "A NOISE KINK, HUMAN? NOISE IS WHAT TURNS YOU ON? THEN NEVER FEAR, FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL USE THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE!" You try to protest, but too late. He's already begun screaming and banging pots and pans together. "IS THIS HOW HARD AND LOUD YOU'D LIKE ME TO BANG YOU, HUMAN?"
> 
> Thanks for stopping by <3
> 
> BONUS: Permalink to the ask: http://illuminoodlesconfirmed.tumblr.com/post/132918160805/a-noise-kink-human-noise-is-what-turns-you-on


End file.
